Patrick Samuel, AKA the Asperger Artist, is, as you might have guessed, an artist with Aspergers. However, what isn’t quite as obvious from Samuel’s title is that, not only is his diagnosis something he attained fairly recently (after a long 7-year battle) but also that, before he picked up a pad to draw 2 years ago, he was non-verbal, depressed and had spent the last 20 years hiding the real him.
Last week, Patrick welcomed me to his sixth solo exhibition and shared the inspiring story of how his art came to be. What follows is my write up of our conversation, along with some (poorly) captured images taken from Patrick’s impressive exhibition, as well as, some classic pieces taken from his expansive gallery.
What Inspires You?
James:
From the ethereal monochromatic images you put forward in Escape and Return to the hyper-pop culture inspired designs in Clash of the Icons, I doubt anyone is going to accuse you of not evolving your style. With that being said, what is it about your new exhibit: Passing Time, that sets it apart from your previous collections and what inspired you to do it?
Patrick:
Mainly it was my local park and how peaceful and rewarding it is for me to spend time there. Being inspired by nature, by history and by the things going on around me that don’t overwhelm my senses.
James:
You paint every single day, don’t you?
Patrick:
Sometimes several times a day. I’m always with my dog [Chase]. He needs A LOT of exercise, so we never need an excuse to go to the park. Chase looks out for me so I don’t have to worry about getting run over when crossing the road because I’m overwhelmed by the traffic lights or cyclists and school kids.
James:
So how do you decide where to paint? Does Chase take you or is it something else?
Patrick:
It’s a mixture really, sometimes it’s places he settles and I’ll just plop myself down with an easel or drawing pad. Or sometimes I have a specific idea or I see something the moment when the light falls in a certain way across the trees and casts as a shadow. It changes from day to day.
How did you become an Artist?
James:
Your return to the world of art came after a 20-year struggle to express yourself, can you tell me a little about that journey?
Patrick:
Well, I use to draw and paint and colour a lot as a kid – my mum saw it as a way to calm me, but I think she along with everyone else in my family thought it was something I would grow out of – my meltdowns and hyperactivity, just being really highly strung as a kid and being overwhelmed by everything but art just helped keep me calm.
As I got older though, it became harder and harder to cope with adulthood and living in a society that seems to be getting louder brighter and faster. It was getting overwhelmed by these things, and a job that I was in no way prepared for i.e. teacher training, that I…. I call it being broken into a million pieces, and the only thing that put me back together again was art.
At that point I had stopped talking, until my friend and carer put a drawing pad and pencil in my hand and said ‘if you won’t talk then draw, let the pencil do the talking’. So I drew a self-portrait… a very morbid one. I began to draw, write and talk a little bit and every time I did it, it became a little easier. The drawings were becoming less morbid and then I started moving into colour.
(Patrick’s First Picture)
James:
That is the one with the skull, right?
Patrick:
Yes, that’s right.
James:
What happened to that picture, do you still have it?
Patrick:
Yes, I keep all my pictures, but that one is very special. That’s the one I present to people to show them where I was at that point in my life. That was me, I was dead from the inside out and I was fed up of trying to hide it.
I’d tried REALLY, really hard over those 20 years [before Patrick started painting] to feel normal and to fit in. Anything that was different about me, I tried to hide, because I couldn’t get any help, I couldn’t get any support. At that stage, it was impossible for me to get a diagnosis. I had been fighting for 8 years.
Then when I got my diagnosis, I swore to myself: I’ll never try and hide this again, it’s going to be the first thing people know about me when they meet me. I’m going to wear it on my sleeve – it’s who I am. It’s not EVERYTHING I am, but it forms a big part of me: how I see the world and experience it, and how I interact with others. I can’t hide it.
James:
That’s brilliant, although you have now taken away one of my questions. I was about to say: ‘You now wear your diagnosis quite proudly on your sleeve, what is it about your diagnosis that makes you want to celebrate it?’
Patrick:
Absolutely, it’s a big, bright, bold spectrum for me! I am not like everyone else and why would you want to hide that when it is so apparent?
How does Autism affect Art?
James:
When I first met you, I said ‘I often struggle when I have less than one day to complete an article, do you have any similar troubles when it comes to creating your work?’ and, to my astonishment, you told me that not only do you paint every single day but you also complete one picture a day! Can you tell me how and why you do that?
Patrick:
That’s right, one a day, I can’t carry it on longer than that because every day I wake up feeling different. If I started painting today, because I’m feeling a certain way, there’s no guarantee I’ll be feeling the same way again tomorrow when I have to finish it.
I have to finish it today because tomorrow is a different story.
What it’s like being the artist with Aspergers:
James:
How does it feel to go from non-verbal to the centre of attention?
Patrick:
Still sometimes when I am at the centre of attention I will go non-verbal!
It’s a lot easier now because I see myself as two different people. There’s my public persona, where I have something functional to do in a social environment, like showcasing my artwork, talking about my music, talking about my experiences and giving insight into what autism is like for me.
Then there’s when I’m in a social environment and I just have to be social, for example, a birthday party, going to the pub with a group of people or just casually talking. That’s where I will hit stumbling blocks pretty quickly because I’m unclear of the context, I’m unsure if I’ve said something stupid. I’ll go home completely regretting EVERYTHING I’ve said, thinking it’s been a horrible mistake and that everyone thinks I’m an idiot. I’ll make frequent trips to the bathroom and burst into tears quite often. People don’t see my hands shaking, it’s soul destroying. Having a role to play or a function to perform in a social situation is what helps me a lot.
I mean… I did that on my birthday, last Saturday. I’ve never been able to do a birthday party because I haven’t been able to cope with the social environment, but I had this exhibition [Passing Time], so I invited a load of people off the internet to hang out with me and I told them I would give them a guided tour and talk about art and autism. People turned up…
James:
Nice!
Patrick:
…. And it was the first time I was around that many people on my birthday. It was fun – but I was so hyper that on Sunday, the next day, I needed a whole day to…
James:
Recharge your batteries?
Patrick:
Yeah!
What’s Next for the Asperger Artist?
James:
Right, final question – or more like the final two questions: In your recent show, you compose music, write poetry, created a film for it and presented art in it. Is there anything you can’t do?
Patrick *smiling*:
Social situations, a normal job, getting on public transport, going grocery shopping on my own during busy times, coping with a neurotypical environment as a whole, you name it!
James:
That was definitely an answer I should have seen coming haha! Okay well moving on from that, is there anything left that you would like to do?
Patrick:
There’s always stuff I want to learn. I want to be able to read music and write music and not just put together things that I think sound good. I’ve never been able to do that, but I think that’s also part of my dyslexia as well – not being able to read music. To be able to work with oil paints also – that’s something to do with my patience as I only work with quick drying paints.
I’ve got an audition for Britain’s Got Talent coming up. I’m going to try and talk about art and autism whilst doing a painting in 3 minutes or less whilst having music I’ve composed playing. Either it works or it doesn’t, but once I had the idea to do it I couldn’t not do it. I applied in 5 minutes and now they say I have an audition.
I see it as an opportunity to stand up there and do something as an autistic person representing the autistic community, saying, the spectrum is so vast and wide. This is another great thing that’s possible because of autism. I want to put that out there.
James:
I think that’s a fantastic note to end on, thank you very much!
Patrick:
….although, I could fail disastrously and get overwhelmed in the line, but hopefully that won’t happen.
James:
Okay, now I want to end it with that comment instead haha!
Carry on the Conversation:
If you’ve enjoyed this interview, be sure to check out Patrick’s exhibition before it closes next Friday (and even if you haven’t enjoyed this interview, you should still go check it out. It’s awesome!). If you’re autistic and fancy picking up a new hobby like drawing/painting then why not follow this link to my list of 20 idea activities for people on the spectrum?
As always, I can also be found on Twitter @AutismRevised and via my email: AutisticandUnapologetic@gmail.com.
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Thank you for reading and I will see you next Saturday for more thoughts from across the spectrum.
