The Warner Boys by Ana & Curt Warner is a beautifully optimistic memoir which recounts the lives of former Seattle Running Back Curt Warner and his wife, Ana Warner. Spanning multiple decades, The Warner Boys explores how the couples’ family came to be; from the pair meeting in the late 80s through to the challenges of parenthood – which began in 1993 and became significantly more complicated in 1994: with the birth of their twin autistic sons: Austin and Christian.
From the first page to the last, the Warner’s story is one chock full of hope in trying times and while yes, it does not shy away from depicting just how tough raising an autistic child can be (let alone two), it’s honest discussions are contagiously optimistic and will certainly make you think twice next time you feel sorry for yourself – or ,as Ana puts it, next time you try and throw yourself a ‘pity party’.
As with any good autobiography, the main strength of The Warner Boys lies in the personalities of its two narrators: Curt and Ana. It’s inspiring to see how these two adapt over the decades and following Curt as he grows from athletic superstar (a chapter which, sparingly, doesn’t last too long) to devoted husband/father, is nothing short of amazing.
On the other hand, Ana’s journey of personal growth is just as astonishing; beginning with the Brazilian born globetrotter expressing terror around the thought that her sons may end up in an institution (an idea which comes courtesy of Rain Man) and ending with the realization that both her autistic children are individuals with unique personalities, traits and, of course, quirks (take that Dustin Hoffman).
These transformations don’t come immediately however, as both Curt and Ana must deal with various obstacles along the way, which include (but are not limited to): explosive meltdowns, heartbreaking runaways and the complete reconstruction of their family’s home (on more than one occasion).
The Warner Boys isn’t just a story that takes you from A to B however, as the book also proves to be quite informative – providing opinions and insights on some of the latest autistic studies and therapies.
What I particularly like about this angle of the book is that both Curt and Ana openly admit to not having the answers for autism. Instead, the couple indicate that they are simply trying to show what has and hasn’t worked for their children. This demonstrates the one step forward two steps back nature autism therapy can so often have and its inclusion shows the importance of standing tall, even when you have been knocked down for the hundredth time.
Conversely, The Warner Boys also contains a brief mention of Curt and Ana’s desire to find an autism cure (something which would usually make me close a book and throw it out the window). However, both the parents, yet again, explain that this is THEIR opinion and one which comes, not because they want to see autistic people become extinct, but because they believe that, for Austin and Christian, this could make the twins happier – yes, I may firmly disagree with their final decision, but I respect the well-articulated thoughts which got them there.
As Ana herself says, The Warner Boys is not a story about autism, it’s a story about love, and I don’t think I could sum the book up any better than this. Ana and Curt have a love straight out of the movies and even after it is tested time and time again they only seem to bounce back closer.
This is one of the many benefits of the altering perspectives the book is written in as, while on the odd occasion you may feel like you are retracing old steps, each revisit to a story uncovers something new and worthwhile – whether that be the thought process behind a decision or a simple moment of levity, such as when Curt believes that Ana must have been thinking something ridiculous during an event, only to have this belief later confirmed.
However, when I say that The Warner Boys is a story about love, I don’t just mean the romantic kind as, throughout this autobiography’s pages, you really get a sense of how these parents will go to the ends of the earth for their family. It’s important to see discussions on how autism impacts an entire family unit and it’s brilliant to see such an emphasis on the personalities of the autists over the problems. They say that diamonds are formed under extreme pressure and that is definitely how I would describe the family at the heart of The Warner Boys.
Carry on the Conversation:
Currently available on Audible as well as from most good book retailers (e.g. Here), The Warner Boys is an honest discussion of how raising two children with autism brought one family to the brink and then closer than imaginable.
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Thank you for reading and I will see you next Saturday for more thoughts from across the spectrum.
