Autism and social communication, just like autism and social interaction are perhaps the most known out of all autism obstacles but telling the two apart isn’t quite as simple as it might first appear. Regarding social communication, this is the act of sharing intent through actions (such as gestures, words or expressions) whilst social interactions are a two-way street in which people take turns communicating and listening (or, when I’m talking about Pokemon, pretending to listen). 

However, despite autistic people getting a bad (but fair) rap when it comes to our social interactions (as we can struggle with social cues), this is often interpreted as us having an inability to communicate at all. This is a huge challenge that has seemingly taken many an autist’s voice, which is why, today, I want to look at why communication often breaks down between those off and on the spectrum, as well as what can be done to repair it.

Close up shot of an amp with volume buttons

What Are Autism Communication Problems?

Imagine you’ve got somewhere you need to be. You’ve got a fast car and a long straight road to get you there but, every couple of feet a huge billboard appears with a seemingly important announcement. Chances are, you might slow down to read these urgent appeals once or twice but, eventually, you realise you can’t read every one or you’ll never get where you want to be.

This is a dilemma all of us face when we set out to tick the boxes on our daily to-do list, where social interaction, like the billboards, grind progress to a halt. Like advertisers of the modern-day, our bodies have learnt to get round this challenge by creating shortcuts, to convert information into more condensed forms. However, where billboards often use images to symbolize meanings, people use gestures and idioms.

One example of this can be seen in those who shrug their shoulders, instead of saying that they don’t have an answer, or someone who says ‘speak of the Devil’, when they have been talking about you and want you to know they have been talking about you. The problem with this is the autistic mind can take things for their literal meaning and so, most of this teminolgy is lost on us and can make us feel like we’re in a foreign country where these secret languages can’t be understood.

As before, this gets tiring quickly, so many autistic people drive along ignoring challenging discussions or nodding at the bits we do understand – as though we are a tourist in Paris using our high school French for directions:’ où est mon…social skills?

This misunderstanding can often be confused for disinterest or ignorance. However, the potential is there, it just needs to be supported.

Person walking down street with lots of billboards

How to Improve Communication Skills in Autism:

Like anyone trying to pick up a new language, the key is that practice makes perfect so, exposing an autistic person to conversation (whether it be on the radio or in-person) can make a great difference to our overall social ability. This doesn’t mean constantly speaking to an autistic untill our social traits excel though as, before attempting any kind of speech therapy, there are few things to consider first:

1. Communicate whilst learning to communicate

It sounds confusing but, before you even start trying to improve an autistic person’s communication, make sure that you understand them and they understand you. It can be extremely stressful when someone is trying to teach you something that just won’t sink it and, if you don’t have a way to signal for a timeout, this stress can turn into frustration. 

As such, make sure an autistic person has a way to express themsleves when things are going well and when we have enough. This can be done by looking out for signs of strain like, finger tapping, or by implementing a red card/green card system.

2. Real-life examples

Autistic minds love to make patterns, this is something you’ll want to keep in mind when planning a social teaching schedule as, if you encourage an autistic person to be social at the same moment of the same day, we will form an idea that this is how it will always be.

For this reason, make sure to gently adjust the times and locations between lessons; not so much that it that the uncertainy causes distress but not so little it becomes to embedded in our routine.

3. Vary your teaching style

Like any student, autistic people who are trying to pick up something new will have a favoured way in which we are taught best. So, while you would expect communication to be purely auditory, over-reliance on this method is a big no-no. 

Instead, opt to try a variety of styles to see which works best and consider switching to promote learning in a different region of the brain. For example:

  • Auditory: your bog-standard speech therapy, in which people are taught to practice words and conversation, to help during the real thing.
  • Visual: using reference points à la social stories, to help explain what the meaning of a statement is, or using pictures of facial expressions to support in understanding of inference
  • Kinetic: some autistic people are more confident with sign language than speech, or may find they are better prepared to converse with a language application, like an Augmentative and Alternative Communication Device (AAC)

4. Patience is key

Rome wasn’t built in a day so, if you are expecting it to take only one session before someone understands an idiom like ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’, you are going to end up dissapointed. Setting expectations and avoiding time bound goals is a good way to handle this and remembering to celebrate every victory can encourage a positive learning attitude.

An autistic person taking part in autism therapy

When a Communication Problem isn’t an Autism Communication Problem:

Of course, like my attempt at learning German at university, sometimes these things can seem like there’s no success at all but, before you do call it quits, first consider whether there are any external autism quirks which might be impacting progress i.e: 

Sensory Problems: An autistic person struggling with sensory problems might not be able to hear or process something which is only a few feet away.

Routine: Remeber routines are important for autistic people and our minds may become sidetracked if a conversation has come at the detriment of our usual activities.

Restricted Interests: An autistic person may be disinterested in a conversation, or may not be responding very enthusiastically as the topic is outside the ven diagram of things we care about and things we want to talk about. I’m sure there’s a more delicate way of phrasing this but, this means a speech session may not be successful because we simply find it SUPER boring (therefore, consider the topic you are discussing before practice session).

With all this considered, there are still many autistic people who will struggle to get involved in social interaction throughout life – seemingly being unable to find equal footing for sharing their thoughts and feelings. This does not mean any of us are incapable of expression though as, before any of this begins, we will already have a way to communicate – it’s just that our methods may be incomprehensible to those who don’t share our unique perspective.

This means that, when I say that social interaction is a two-way street, it shouldn’t be up to the autist to travel the entire length to meet someone at the end of a dialogue. Instead, both parties should be encouraged to modify their voice to meet in the middle as, when looked at from an autistic viewpoint, it can be seen that those off the spectrum are just as socially challenged as those on it – if not more so, for their lack of effort to adjust.

Minibus driving down a two-way street

Carry on the Conversation:

Can you think of any ways to improve autistic speech that I may have left out? Then let me know in the comments below. And, if you would like to learn more about Augmentative and Alternative Communication Devices (AAC) or any other helpful autism tech, then make sure to check out my article on 10 Technologies Transforming Autistic Lives.

As always, I can also be found on Twitter @AutismRevised and via my email: AutisticandUnapologetic@gmail.com.

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Thank you for reading and I will see you next week for more thoughts from across the spectrum.