Like the words ‘literally’, ‘random’ and ‘irony’, the word ‘stressed’ has lost its way in recent years, becoming a throw away adjective for someone who is slightly obsessing over something or as an insult for someone who is visibly angry.

Whilst there is some merit in using the word ‘stressed’ this way, the problem is that it over simplifies something which is a serious threat to myself and many other people on the autistic spectrum.

As next week marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week, now feels like the right time to discuss the implications of stress within the autistic community, as well as how we can all help to relieve the stress that inevitably we will run into at some point or another.

How does Stress affect Autistic People:

Whilst most would agree that stress is a response which comes from being put under pressure, there are still many who find it hard to describe exactly what that response will be.

In my experience, stress can take many forms: lasting an incalculable amount of time and striking me both mentally and physically –  did you notice how, when I describe my stress, I say both mentally and physically (not or physically)? That’s because for myself and many other autists, becoming stressed can leave us feeling like we’ve just gone toe-to-toe with Mike Tyson; who thought it would be a great idea to bring his pet tigers into the ring for backup (yes, Mike Tyson has more than one pet tiger – he is a strange and very scary man).

Unlike people without autism, stress isn’t something an autist can immediately respond to. It gets lost in translation and whilst, for many, stress triggers a fight or flight response it can make autistic people, like me, feel like we have drunk a cocktail of emotions, resulting in a random assortment of reactions – which in my case usually results in me painting the walls of whichever room I am in, with whatever is lining my stomach at the time.

Simply put, stress is an unavoidable burden for most people, but for autistic people the burden of stress is often much worse.

My Personal Battles with Stress:

When I was younger, stress was usually the feeling I had whenever I turned up at a party and all the fun and unpredictable games left me struggling to make sense of what was going on. It wasn’t something which I would describe as a reaction per se, but more as the feeling which was meant to cause a reaction, but never quite got there and instead left me in a state of panic.

As with the traits of autism, this stress which I eventually came to associate with any public situation, began to change when I went to high school. Only instead of becoming easier to manage, my stress graduated into full blown social anxiety – making me nervous before an event, as well as at the event and for a good length of time after the event (something which I have previously discussed here).

You would think that, as my body has always reacted to stress by riddling my mouth with ulcers, I would have learnt to take better care of myself by now. However, even with a physical response like this, stress still gets to me on my best days, as being autistic means I am forever obsessing over the small things which are troubling me and replaying in my mind, unable to break away from them (even when they inevitably result in my mouth tasting like Bongela for the next few weeks).

I’m not at a total loss when it comes to battling stress though, as there are some techniques which I have picked up over the years to help make the effects of stress feel less stressful.

How to make Stress less Stressful:

1. Take a Break

Recharge your batteries, take a siesta, have more ‘me time’. Regardless of how you refer to taking a break, the important thing is that you do. When you’re feeling stressed, it can feel like you’ve had the stuffing knocked out of you, which is why, sometimes, it’s best to keep both your hands straight, lie one on top of the other and call a time-out, so you can remove yourself from the situation, give your brain a rest and let your mind process what has happened.

This same tip also goes for all you autistic parents, teachers and support workers out there, as I am also aware that many of you have deluded yourself with the idea that that taking a break is failing the person you care for. If there’s one thing I can stress today it’s that taking a break is not the same as giving up. You’re not throwing the towel in, but dusting yourself off with it, so that when you come back you can feel refreshed and ready to give it your all again.

2. Talk it Out

As the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved, which is why I often find it baffling that people within the autistic community will refuse to look for help when they are troubled. This is something I have already discussed here, but foolishly, when creating that article, I did not speak about the difficulties in asking for support, when communication is one of the core constraints of your autism.

This probably deserves a separate article, but for the time being, I would recommend that if you are struggling to explain what is making you stressed, then try writing your feelings down or expressing them through art: a picture or even a poem. Although the person reading/listening may still not understand what you are trying to say, sometimes just making your thoughts physical can be a great step towards understanding them – which leads me on to my next point.

3. Make a Plan

It’s a fact that we Autistic people love a good plan, so why not create a timeline of the events leading to what might have stressed you and how you expect things will go afterwards. This may sound like a strange suggestion, but this is something I often do myself. Creating a timeline helps me to process what has gone on and it also allows me to locate the exact thing which is causing me stress.

Of course, my predicted timeline afterwards is far from absolute, but by creating multiple outcomes, my timeline allows me to have a better perspective of what is causing me stress and as such can make the the mountain turn back into a molehill.

(Side Note: If anyone does go down this route, make sure to give yourself lots of time in between each ‘after event’. In my experience, creating a timeline only to realise you are not going to make any of the possibilities a reality can ultimately makes things worse.)

4. Accept that Stress is a part of Life

Granted this is hardly the most inspiring tip I have, but it’s important to note that there are many people out there who believe stress is the body’s way of helping you prioritise.

Obviously this does not mean we should look forward to feeling stressed or that we should actively put ourselves in stressful situations, but this little nugget of knowledge can help you to stop seeing stress as a big bad omen and instead view it as an alarm clock calling you to action.

Recommendations I stole from the Internet:

As well as these tips that I practice, there are also tons of recommendations I have found online which will undoubtedly help relieve stress. These suggestions include:

  • Ditching caffeine
  • Having a better diet
  • Sleeping better
  • Exercising regularly

However, as my regular routine involves me side stepping any form of exercise in favour of a KFC and a Costa (to counteract the effects of my lack of sleep), I would 100% feel like a hypocrite if I recommended these things today. Then again, maybe if I did try out these suggestions I wouldn’t feel half as stressed as I do…

Carry on the Conversation

This year Mental Health Awareness Week will be highlighting the issues around stress, so why not share some of your successful techniques in dealing with it, in the comments below (you never know who you might help).

As always, I can also be found on Twitter @AutismRevised and via my email: AutisticandUnapologetic@gmail.com.

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Thank you for reading and I will see you next Saturday for more thoughts from across the spectrum.